She Went Quietly
by KillerElephants
Summary: Edited re-post. '"I thought you were leaving," she stated, or asked, or just threw out of her mouth in order to break the tension that was seeping in around the room like a poisonous smog. "I was."' Swan Queen, Regina Mills, Emma Swan.


A/N: Lyrics come from Charlie Winston's 'She Went Quietly'.

* * *

"_There's really not so much to tell,__  
__she was 29, showing signs of doing well__  
__for herself,__  
__she never spoke of feeling sad,__  
__was oh so close to the family and friends she had__  
__around her,_

_But she went quietly,__  
__she didn't make a sound,__  
__she went quietly,__  
__with a wish not to be found…"_~ Charlie Winston

Emma stood, silent, rain water dripping from her and leaking over the hard, marble tiles of the foyer floor. The suitcase in her hand was heavy, but the cold had long since numbed her body. The weight was barely enough to ground her.

Regina stood before her, chin held high, jaw strained, with a cold look in her eyes. It was obvious she had been crying, but now her expression held only indifference.

"I thought you were leaving," she stated, or asked, or just threw out of her mouth in order to break the tension that was seeping in around the room like a poisonous smog.

"I was," Emma whispered in return, finally allowing the suitcase to drop from her hand and land with a slap against the floor. "I got to the edge of town and realised I'd left my car."

The flickering embers that had been preserved within the dark cavern inside Regina's chest hissed in pain, their frail glow finally consumed by fear. "So you _are_ going?"

If she was at all upset or angry, she did not let it drip into her tone, or her expression, but Emma knew Regina had no control over the dark pools that raged a typhoon within her eyes.

"I got to the edge of town," Emma repeated, "and I realised I didn't want to go."

Regina was silent, and Emma almost feared the other woman was going to kick her back out into the rain. When she thought they had been facing each other off for what might have actually been a minute, Regina asked, "What made you change your mind?"

Huffing out a sigh, ignoring her cold body's tremors, Emma swallowed thickly and answered, "You. You and Henry changed my mind."

Regina's jaw relaxed and then flexed again. Her tone was brutal when she said, "It's nice to know we mean so much to you."

"Regina," Emma breathed, "it was a rash decision. This was all getting too much-"

"So you thought you'd just walk away." Regina's voice was not angry nor was it raised in volume, she sounded emotionless, cold. "I understand."

Emma easily called the lie, she always could with Regina. "I was overwhelmed," she tried, "I was stupid."

"Finally, something we can both agree on."

Emma ignored her and shook her head. "I'm not used to this, you need to understand that-"

"I told you, Ms. Swan, I _do_ understand," Regina said. "I always knew you would leave me sooner or later, but I had hoped you'd at least remain in Storybrooke for Henry's sake. You owe him that."

Emma choked on the words forming in her throat, shaking her head with a frown. After a strangled noise left her lips, she clamped them shut and dropped her gaze to the floor before Regina's heeled feet, guilt falling over her like a steal blanket.

"I turned around," she whispered, knowing that the word she needed Regina to hear wouldn't be enough. "I turned around for him… and for you."

"You chose to _leave_." And, finally, there was that emotion Emma was expecting, ripping at her chest in abandon. "You _left_us."

"I came back," she said weakly, looking up into Regina's shattered expression.

A tremor shivered over her body and her posture was rigid, but Regina refused to allow the tears in her eyes to fall.

"I'm sorry," Emma finally choked out, hating the way the other woman's face contorted in disgust.

"_Sorry_ wouldn't have consoled him if he found you missing," Regina barked. "_Sorry_ wouldn't have told him that it wasn't _his fault_."

"It was never _anyone's_ fault," Emma tried, desperate, but how was she to make Regina understand when, at this very moment in time, she could not fathom why leaving Storybrooke had ever been a thought tolerated within her mind? "I was _drowning_, Regina, I didn't know what I was doing. Between us and being a mom… I didn't know how to do it…"

"You weren't drowning, you were scared!" Regina's voice finally rose. "Why didn't you come to me?"

Emma shook her head, her tears finally mixing with the rain water on her cheeks. "I don't know," she whimpered, "I couldn't handle it… but I'm ready now."

"I don't think you are," Regina gasped on a sob, her own tears bubbling over despite her best efforts.

The second she felt the salted drops rolling to her chin, a hand was brought up to swiftly discard them. She shifted in posture, taking a purposeless step, and looked around the foyer, her eyes settling on everything that wasn't the sopping blonde standing before her. Emma watched her curiously, waiting for her next move.

Sniffing, refusing to shed anymore tears, Regina tried to stop the way her chest ached at Emma's soft plea of, "Please, Regina… I just want one more chance… I've given you that much before." Blinking away her tears, Regina clasped her hands together and refrained from embracing her arms around her stomach.

A tense silence held the room.

"You're going to catch a cold," she finally breathed, chewing her bottom lip slightly before continuing, "you should shower." Emma frowned a little but, before she could speak, Regina was making her way towards the stairs, calling behind her in a strained voice, "I'll get a towel…"

Emma almost thought she was going to sink to the floor in relief, and she hurriedly grabbed her case - the last thing she wanted was Henry seeing it upon his return from school - and followed Regina up the stairs.

Standing awkwardly in their bedroom, suitcase dripping water over the plush carpet - she almost wanted Regina to yell at her for the mess, bring back a semblance of normality - Emma shivered in her wet clothes and watched as Regina hovered around the room with a clean, white towel in her hands.

Her fingers dug around the softness in her grasp for a few seconds before Regina finally met Emma's eyes and offered her the towel. "I'll… unpack your case…"

"Regina, thank-"

"…and I'll make up the guest bedroom."

Emma swallowed thickly but nodded, knowing it was the least she deserved. As she stripped from her jacket and moved to lock herself in the en suite bathroom, she vowed never to leave Regina's side until she regained her trust. She had been foolish to allow it to slip from her grasp the first time, but she'd be damned if it happened again.

As she entered under the scalding spray of the showerhead, Emma attempted to scrub the guilt from her skin. But no matter how powerful she had the shower running, she could still hear the sobbing on the other side of the door as Regina unpacked her suitcase, placing each and every last item neatly back where it belonged.


End file.
